DH: A list recently published in The New York Times by a noted restaurateur gave 100 rules for what service staff should not do. I thought a list of 50 things that writers shouldn’t do would give us all a chance to vent. I’m contributing 10 items. Some of these pet peeves have pissed me off for years:
- Don’t use italics for more than one line.
- Don’t tell me what someone looks like if it doesn’t matter.
- Don’t make me draw a diagram to figure out who’s speaking.
- Don’t write in a manner that’s different from your everyday speech. You should write like your best talk when you’re having a very good day.
- Don’t start your story with a character alone in a room unless you’re Kafka and your character is going to turn into a bug.
- I should be able to turn to any passage in your story and enjoy the craft of it. Don’t write a coy opening to draw me in. I’ll throw the book away instead.
- You have five minutes to interest me, not with gimmicks but with craft.
- Topicality is another word for bullshit.
- If you use one awkward word in 500 pages, I’ll notice it. It counts against you.
- You’re the artist. Ignore my rules.
And here’s 30 more Don’ts from the Three Guys! But we want your help with the last ten! So read over our list and add your suggestions so we can make up 50 Don’ts!
JE:
- Don’t write. Tell me a story.
- Don’t include scenes just because they’re good scenes.
- Don’t tell the story with your head, tell it with your body, even when it’s cerebral.
- Don’t let overarching symbolism marginalize your characters.
- Don’t show off, it doesn’t serve the story.
- Don’t try to be culturally significant, just report the human condition
- Don’t hide behind sarcasm.
- Avoid obtuse narrative devices and ambiguous POV transitions.
- Don’t be too explicit, the reader has a brain.
- Don’t burden me with peripheral information, unless your intent is to distract.
JR:
- Don’t tell me what you want from my writing. I’ll give it to you. Take it or leave it.
- Don’t write in cliche.
- Don’t write in stereotype unless you’re poking fun at that stereotype, and it’s obvious, like Wes Anderson in the Royal Tannebaums.
- Don’t give me a love interest just to make the character “likeable/relatable” or “well rounded”, people fall in love, if your characters don’t, then that’s it, love doesn’t find everyone.
- Don’t use pop culture as a crutch when you have no characters or story to tell. I don’t give a fuck about Whitney Houston, ever, and she has no business in a novel.
- Don’t glue your story to a cause or a distrupted group or country and call it a novel. I call that bad reporting.
- Don’t go 250 pages without something happening in the story. You’re not John Irving. Even John Irving isn’t John Irving.
- If you want to give me information, technical or otherwise, don’t turn it into a sleep aid. Make me want to read it. See: The Corrections.
- Don’t let someone write in your galley, “the first great novel of…” because I know it’s not. Why? Because someone told me it was.
- If I send you books to be signed, as I’m a collector of first editions, and you said you’d do it, then you better do it. And respond to my email where I ask if you got the books. You’re just a writer after all. No one is on the operating table.
JC:
- Don’t write something where nothing happens. This ain’t Godot. Make something happen. If you find you don’t have enough material, try microblogging instead.
- Don’t let your publicity materials be less compelling than the book. You’ve got to convince someone to read it. That counts for query letters, too.
- Don’t rely on brands to describe your character to me. Define you character by more than his possessions
- Don’t get so bogged down in description that I don’t care about the story. Tell me what I need to know and get on with it.
- Don’t be technical. If you must, be concise and clear. See Richard Powers for a positive example.
- Don’t write fiction with an agenda. It reaps tedium.
- Don’t let your characters act at odds to their established patterns.
- Don’t ask for advice or criticism if what you want is a pat on the back.
- Don’t hold the reader’s hand. It’s ok to make them think. Hold something important back. Spill it at the opportune moment. Make sure it’s worth waiting for.
- Don’t write about trends or fads. In 10 years you’ll either be ridiculous, or no one will know what the hell you’re talking about. See any Twitter novel.
There you have it: 40 rules, some of which no doubt contradict each other. So tell us, readers, what would you have a writer never do?
248 Responses to “50 Things a Writer Shouldn't Do”
November 9, 2009
Jarred McGinnisSome bees that have been in my bonnet lately.
Hysterical writing (think teenage love poetry). Let the drama be dramatic not the verbiage. Avoid the words screaming, soul and blood. And they should never be in the same sentence.
and
Relying spectacle. Lately I had truly wonderful character-driven stories ruined by the current fashion for grafting on thriller-style plotting. Just as you said, not everyone falls in love, not every story needs a body count or a detective story.
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November 9, 2009
Jarred McGinnisSome bees that have been in my bonnet lately.
Hysterical writing (think teenage love poetry). Let the drama be dramatic not the verbiage. Avoid the words screaming, soul and blood. And they should never be in the same sentence.
and
Relying spectacle. Lately I had truly wonderful character-driven stories ruined by the current fashion for grafting on thriller-style plotting. Just as you said, not everyone falls in love, not every story needs a body count or a detective story.
November 9, 2009
Jason ChambersHa! Good ones, Jarred. Not only does everyone think they can write a thriller, they think they “have to” write one, as if that’s the only medium left.
June 11, 2011
Chellax Cabtalanthanks for the post! it did help me a lot knowing all the facts that a writer shouldn’t do.Second Hand Golf Clubs
July 1, 2011
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November 9, 2009
Jason ChambersHa! Good ones, Jarred. Not only does everyone think they can write a thriller, they think they “have to” write one, as if that’s the only medium left.
November 9, 2009
jonathan evison. . . i’d like to amend my list to say that there really are no absolutes . . .
November 9, 2009
jonathan evison. . . i’d like to amend my list to say that there really are no absolutes . . .
November 9, 2009
Jason ChambersYou could add Don’t listen too much to other people, too. Write the book you want to write.
November 9, 2009
Jason ChambersYou could add Don’t listen too much to other people, too. Write the book you want to write.
November 9, 2009
jonathan evisonyeah, just make sure it doesn’t suck . . .
November 9, 2009
jonathan evisonyeah, just make sure it doesn’t suck . . .
November 9, 2009
Jason ChambersWell, the readers or the lack thereof will tell you that.
November 9, 2009
Jason ChambersWell, the readers or the lack thereof will tell you that.
November 9, 2009
DHI like JE’s “Don’t write, tell a story.” Don’t have a story? Then save your comments for your Facebook account.
November 9, 2009
DHI like JE’s “Don’t write, tell a story.” Don’t have a story? Then save your comments for your Facebook account.
November 9, 2009
jonathan evison. . . i actually appropriated that from a sign above my editor (chuck adams) desk, which says: “quit writing and tell me a story” . . .
November 9, 2009
jonathan evison. . . i actually appropriated that from a sign above my editor (chuck adams) desk, which says: “quit writing and tell me a story” . . .
November 9, 2009
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November 9, 2009
patrickdon’t tell other writers what they should or shouldn’t do.
March 15, 2013
justsayinghereTup but also these kind of tips help newbees ( cough cough )
November 9, 2009
patrickdon’t tell other writers what they should or shouldn’t do.
November 9, 2009
DHPatrick, I tell my cat, Little Stinky, what to do. She ignores my input and then tells ME what to do. I always follow her advice since she is more sensible than I am. So the writer legislates. And I think it’s more likely that my cat will become a writer than I will.
November 9, 2009
DHPatrick, I tell my cat, Little Stinky, what to do. She ignores my input and then tells ME what to do. I always follow her advice since she is more sensible than I am. So the writer legislates. And I think it’s more likely that my cat will become a writer than I will.
November 9, 2009
JasonPatrick, you’re right. But you know what? Writers have to have readers…so there has to be some kind of give and take. For me, it’s the establishment/gatekeepers who seem to be telling writers what to do. That’s NG.
November 9, 2009
JasonPatrick, you’re right. But you know what? Writers have to have readers…so there has to be some kind of give and take. For me, it’s the establishment/gatekeepers who seem to be telling writers what to do. That’s NG.
May 8, 2011
Amy Wright JRI was think the same thing, writers do have be readers!
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JoesphgoedickeIts really a nice article. It has good content. Thanks for sharing it.
November 9, 2009
DHI like Jason’s comment very much. But you know what? For centuries artists have been told what do to. But they find a way to express their originality anyway. Like: The old Hollywood studio system tried to control its directors. But the directors produced film noir. While the studios hyped these big prestige pictures that aren’t worth shit; these small and nasty noirs made film history.
November 9, 2009
DHI like Jason’s comment very much. But you know what? For centuries artists have been told what do to. But they find a way to express their originality anyway. Like: The old Hollywood studio system tried to control its directors. But the directors produced film noir. While the studios hyped these big prestige pictures that aren’t worth shit; these small and nasty noirs made film history.
November 9, 2009
jonathan evison. . . i believe that even if a writer is going to ignore the rules, he ought to know them, in order to effectively break them . . . otherwise, it’s like trying to pull a bank heist without casing the joint . . .
January 5, 2012
emceeI totally agree. Learn the rules then break them knowingly. Your film noir examples were not people that were ignorant. They were defying (consciously) the ‘rules’ set by the studios.
November 9, 2009
jonathan evison. . . i believe that even if a writer is going to ignore the rules, he ought to know them, in order to effectively break them . . . otherwise, it’s like trying to pull a bank heist without casing the joint . . .
November 9, 2009
Lauren B.Don’t use a sentence you like where it doesn’t fit. Save it. It will work elsewhere.
Don’t use esoteric words to impress the read. Even if I know the meaning, I will think you are a pretentious ass; if I don’t, I will not put your book down to retrieve a dictionary. I’ll just put it down.
(Esoteric isn’t an esoteric word, is it?)
November 9, 2009
Lauren B.Don’t use a sentence you like where it doesn’t fit. Save it. It will work elsewhere.
Don’t use esoteric words to impress the read. Even if I know the meaning, I will think you are a pretentious ass; if I don’t, I will not put your book down to retrieve a dictionary. I’ll just put it down.
(Esoteric isn’t an esoteric word, is it?)
November 9, 2009
Lauren B.Oops. That was supposed to be reader.”
Don’t misspell when commenting on what writers should not do …
November 9, 2009
Lauren B.Oops. That was supposed to be reader.”
Don’t misspell when commenting on what writers should not do …
November 9, 2009
Lauren B.reader.
please ignore me.
March 25, 2013
skaSmithNever!
November 9, 2009
Lauren B.reader.
please ignore me.
November 9, 2009
JeffA guy recently e-mailed me a novel he had written. I didn’t get past the first sentence as the first sentece actually involved a dark and stormy night.
I guess he had never read Peanuts.
November 9, 2009
JeffA guy recently e-mailed me a novel he had written. I didn’t get past the first sentence as the first sentece actually involved a dark and stormy night.
I guess he had never read Peanuts.
November 9, 2009
JasonJE, who was talking about breaking the rules…without knowing them? It’s about being told what is good and what’s not. By the people who are quickly going out of business.
November 9, 2009
JasonJE, who was talking about breaking the rules…without knowing them? It’s about being told what is good and what’s not. By the people who are quickly going out of business.
November 9, 2009
JasonMy novel starts out, “on a dark and stormy night” is that wrong?
November 9, 2009
JasonMy novel starts out, “on a dark and stormy night” is that wrong?
November 9, 2009
Jason ChambersSpice it up a little JR:
The night was dark and stormy.
November 9, 2009
Jason ChambersSpice it up a little JR:
The night was dark and stormy.
November 9, 2009
JasonThe night was dark and stormy, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. The lights on the front porch had burned out, and my son told me that he was afraid of the dark. I assured him, “there’s no difference between day and night, the same stuff is always out there”.
November 9, 2009
JasonThe night was dark and stormy, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. The lights on the front porch had burned out, and my son told me that he was afraid of the dark. I assured him, “there’s no difference between day and night, the same stuff is always out there”.
November 9, 2009
DHJR, finish it as a short story and publish it on our blog or somewhere else….if you don’t mind.
November 9, 2009
DHJR, finish it as a short story and publish it on our blog or somewhere else….if you don’t mind.
November 9, 2009
JasonI DO MIND.
November 9, 2009
JasonI DO MIND.
November 9, 2009
DHHA!
November 9, 2009
DHHA!
November 9, 2009
JasonI’m not laughing.
November 9, 2009
JasonI’m not laughing.
November 9, 2009
DHI’m not laughing either. I was curious to see what you would do with a variation on a conventional opening. You don’t have to laugh and I don’t have to cry.
November 9, 2009
DHI’m not laughing either. I was curious to see what you would do with a variation on a conventional opening. You don’t have to laugh and I don’t have to cry.
November 10, 2009
Cascade LilyDon’t make every character come from an abusive family, with an alcoholic and violent father, an addicted (to whatever) mother and a brother who suicided blah blah blah.
Oh, and can we please give vampire love a rest?
November 9, 2009
Cascade LilyDon’t make every character come from an abusive family, with an alcoholic and violent father, an addicted (to whatever) mother and a brother who suicided blah blah blah.
Oh, and can we please give vampire love a rest?
November 10, 2009
F.AlvarezI would add to the list this one: “Read before writing and, when you think you’re ready, read a little bit more”.
November 10, 2009
F.AlvarezI would add to the list this one: “Read before writing and, when you think you’re ready, read a little bit more”.
November 10, 2009
StephenIf you’re not writing it with certainty, don’t write it.
These lists are fantastic tests for your state of insecurity. If you’re in the “what the fuck am I doing?” part of the novel, you will currently be ripping through page after page for stereotype, redundant description or the words “blood”, “soul” and “screaming”.
Keep reading and keep writing and eventually you will know exactly what you’re doing (for a while). If (when) you come across a sentence like, “The sight of her blood sent his soul screaming for vengeance.” you will either delete it without a second thought, or you will leave it in, knowing it is exactly the kind of sentence that is required.
November 10, 2009
StephenIf you’re not writing it with certainty, don’t write it.
These lists are fantastic tests for your state of insecurity. If you’re in the “what the fuck am I doing?” part of the novel, you will currently be ripping through page after page for stereotype, redundant description or the words “blood”, “soul” and “screaming”.
Keep reading and keep writing and eventually you will know exactly what you’re doing (for a while). If (when) you come across a sentence like, “The sight of her blood sent his soul screaming for vengeance.” you will either delete it without a second thought, or you will leave it in, knowing it is exactly the kind of sentence that is required.
November 10, 2009
Jason ChambersRight, Stephen. That’s one of the biggest don’ts, which we talk about all the time. Don’t stop. Keep writing. The more you write, the more you’ll figure out about how to do it.
November 10, 2009
Jason ChambersRight, Stephen. That’s one of the biggest don’ts, which we talk about all the time. Don’t stop. Keep writing. The more you write, the more you’ll figure out about how to do it.
November 10, 2009
JasonThe more you write, the better you get. Use it everyday, like a pro athlete.
November 10, 2009
JasonThe more you write, the better you get. Use it everyday, like a pro athlete.
November 10, 2009
DHDancers dance every day. They have to, or they’re not pros. As usual, the Jasons are right. The Jasons are like three oracles. When they all agree, you can take it to the bank.
But I like Stephen’s “you will know exactly what you’re doing (for a while)”. I think writing, like reading, needs to be re-learned. For what we love the most, we are always practicing.
November 10, 2009
DHDancers dance every day. They have to, or they’re not pros. As usual, the Jasons are right. The Jasons are like three oracles. When they all agree, you can take it to the bank.
But I like Stephen’s “you will know exactly what you’re doing (for a while)”. I think writing, like reading, needs to be re-learned. For what we love the most, we are always practicing.
November 10, 2009
josieShow me. Don’t tell.
When a writer starts telling me how the characters feel I’m immediately disconnected. I want to discover the mood in the work itself.
November 10, 2009
josieShow me. Don’t tell.
When a writer starts telling me how the characters feel I’m immediately disconnected. I want to discover the mood in the work itself.
November 10, 2009
Jasongood point josie!
November 10, 2009
Jasongood point josie!
November 11, 2009
Sieglinde1. Don’t give 50+ pages long battle descriptions, ESPECIALLY if they have nothing to do with the goddamned plot.
2. Don’t leave your character(s) in the $hit and begin to talk about some philosophical question.
3. The fluffy romance of two 19th century teens is BORING, man. Especially when it takes two hundred pages from 1400.
4. Don’t make your hero act OOC. NEVER. EVER.
5. I don’t care what do you think of period industry, economy, convents, God, society. I care what will the characters do on the next page!
6. Letting the main villain survive, be FREE, and go and live happily ever after with a LOT of money is not fair.
7. If I’m interested in linquistic questions, I’ll take a course. THIS is a novel, dude.
8. Sinking the antagonist for 8 years / 3-400 pages is not the best idea.
9. Coincidences, man. GET RID OF THEM.
10. No matter how much you drool over his greatness, I’ll not like Bonaparte. Ever.
And these counsels are all adressed to my favourite author. Now think of the others…
November 11, 2009
Sieglinde1. Don’t give 50+ pages long battle descriptions, ESPECIALLY if they have nothing to do with the goddamned plot.
2. Don’t leave your character(s) in the $hit and begin to talk about some philosophical question.
3. The fluffy romance of two 19th century teens is BORING, man. Especially when it takes two hundred pages from 1400.
4. Don’t make your hero act OOC. NEVER. EVER.
5. I don’t care what do you think of period industry, economy, convents, God, society. I care what will the characters do on the next page!
6. Letting the main villain survive, be FREE, and go and live happily ever after with a LOT of money is not fair.
7. If I’m interested in linquistic questions, I’ll take a course. THIS is a novel, dude.
8. Sinking the antagonist for 8 years / 3-400 pages is not the best idea.
9. Coincidences, man. GET RID OF THEM.
10. No matter how much you drool over his greatness, I’ll not like Bonaparte. Ever.
And these counsels are all adressed to my favourite author. Now think of the others…
November 11, 2009
SieglindeOh, my second:
1. Dude. First, decide if this is a novel, or a National Geographic Special.
2. Don’t let the funny secondary character overshadow your demonic tragic hero.
3. If you are telling it in first person, don’t include things your narrator couldnt witness.
4. If you have a slashy romance at the beginning, don’t drop it later!
5. Don’t give every character and ship Highly Symbolic Names.
6. If you don’t know what to do with a character, making him randomly mad is not the solution.
Take that, Herman. I love you anyway.
November 11, 2009
SieglindeOh, my second:
1. Dude. First, decide if this is a novel, or a National Geographic Special.
2. Don’t let the funny secondary character overshadow your demonic tragic hero.
3. If you are telling it in first person, don’t include things your narrator couldnt witness.
4. If you have a slashy romance at the beginning, don’t drop it later!
5. Don’t give every character and ship Highly Symbolic Names.
6. If you don’t know what to do with a character, making him randomly mad is not the solution.
Take that, Herman. I love you anyway.
November 11, 2009
jonathan evison. . .ha! take that! holy cow, these are funny, sieglinde . . . looks like maybe tolstoy and melville should have minded their ‘don’ts” . . .
November 11, 2009
jonathan evison. . .ha! take that! holy cow, these are funny, sieglinde . . . looks like maybe tolstoy and melville should have minded their ‘don’ts” . . .
November 13, 2009
CarlyQWhen a character speaks, try to find something more creative than “he said/she said” five times in a row. (BIGGEST WRITING PET PEEVE)
November 12, 2009
CarlyQWhen a character speaks, try to find something more creative than “he said/she said” five times in a row. (BIGGEST WRITING PET PEEVE)
November 13, 2009
JasonYou escape he said/she said, by introducing the scene with one tag, that is more creative than the typical he said/she said, and you make a distinction between characters by the way they talk, back and forth. People will follow, those who can’t or won’t, sorry for your luck.
November 13, 2009
JasonYou escape he said/she said, by introducing the scene with one tag, that is more creative than the typical he said/she said, and you make a distinction between characters by the way they talk, back and forth. People will follow, those who can’t or won’t, sorry for your luck.
November 19, 2009
P.S. MoorePlease don’t try to tell me what a character is like by the books read, movies seen, etc. It’s cheap and easy. (There was a John Hughes movie — I forget which one — in which a character who is a plumber or maintenance guy is shown reading Finnegan’s Wake. It screamed of pretension and a cheesy way to tell us that “in spite of appearances, the guy is actually very smart and cultured.”
Show character through behavior.
November 18, 2009
P.S. MoorePlease don’t try to tell me what a character is like by the books read, movies seen, etc. It’s cheap and easy. (There was a John Hughes movie — I forget which one — in which a character who is a plumber or maintenance guy is shown reading Finnegan’s Wake. It screamed of pretension and a cheesy way to tell us that “in spite of appearances, the guy is actually very smart and cultured.”
Show character through behavior.
November 20, 2009
Patrick T. KilgallonPlease don’t use these phrases, ‘He or she ____________ as if saying __________. I know we’re not allowed to mention names but you notice how I am casting my eyes over to Tom Wolfe and Stephen King:
i.e.
She bobbed and weaved her head, snapping her finger in a circle as if saying, you go girl!
She bobbed and weaved her head, snapping her finger in a circle as if saying, oh you done said it, I said don’t go there and you done went!
He stood there and put his fists to waist as if saying, what’s the hell is wrong with you?
November 20, 2009
Patrick T. KilgallonPlease don’t use these phrases, ‘He or she ____________ as if saying __________. I know we’re not allowed to mention names but you notice how I am casting my eyes over to Tom Wolfe and Stephen King:
i.e.
She bobbed and weaved her head, snapping her finger in a circle as if saying, you go girl!
She bobbed and weaved her head, snapping her finger in a circle as if saying, oh you done said it, I said don’t go there and you done went!
He stood there and put his fists to waist as if saying, what’s the hell is wrong with you?
November 23, 2009
Theresa MilsteinWrite from your heart. Connect with your characters or your readers never will.
Choose each word with care – not to show how smart you are, but to makes the phrases dance. Marry thought with action seamlessly.
Characters and plot must always advance with each chapter.
When you feel you’ve made the best manuscript you know how, send it out. Don’t tuck it in a drawer out of fear of rejection (I have plenty of those). If you have a story worth telling, it deserves a chance.
Don’t write to hop on a trend, but don’t avoid a trend if a story beckons you. There may be room for one more if it’s high quality or from a unique angle.
When you receive a rejection, after you wallow in self pity, dust off your keyboard, and take the advice to heart. A rejection with feedback is precious information, so use it wisely.
November 23, 2009
Theresa MilsteinWrite from your heart. Connect with your characters or your readers never will.
Choose each word with care – not to show how smart you are, but to makes the phrases dance. Marry thought with action seamlessly.
Characters and plot must always advance with each chapter.
When you feel you’ve made the best manuscript you know how, send it out. Don’t tuck it in a drawer out of fear of rejection (I have plenty of those). If you have a story worth telling, it deserves a chance.
Don’t write to hop on a trend, but don’t avoid a trend if a story beckons you. There may be room for one more if it’s high quality or from a unique angle.
When you receive a rejection, after you wallow in self pity, dust off your keyboard, and take the advice to heart. A rejection with feedback is precious information, so use it wisely.
November 23, 2009
DHThanks for your comment, Theresa. I especially like the pacing comment about character and plot advancing in each chapter. That’s why there are chapter divisions in the first place, surely. (One of the reasons, anyway.)
I’m reading a new mystery in galley now…it’s very good…but in one or two chapters I’m saying to myself…”come on…make something happen”…I shouldn’t be saying that… so, writers, ask yourself…why does this chapter exist?
I’m always happy when I hear that writers are writing…rather than wallowing…best wishes.
November 23, 2009
DHThanks for your comment, Theresa. I especially like the pacing comment about character and plot advancing in each chapter. That’s why there are chapter divisions in the first place, surely. (One of the reasons, anyway.)
I’m reading a new mystery in galley now…it’s very good…but in one or two chapters I’m saying to myself…”come on…make something happen”…I shouldn’t be saying that… so, writers, ask yourself…why does this chapter exist?
I’m always happy when I hear that writers are writing…rather than wallowing…best wishes.
November 23, 2009
Lynda McKennaPet peeve:
Flat, unidentifiable characters. They all look, act, talk the same. Non-descript places, people, actions.
I don’t want to read ‘dull’. If I did, I’d read my cat’s nonsense type when he decides the keyboard is taking too much time away from him.
Overly flowery characters irk me just as much. I want to read ‘real’ people. Not everyone is beautiful, giving, loving, kind, strong, invincible. And not all women are weak, whiney, sick, unloved, abused whatevers. The list goes on and on.
Give me real ‘love scenes’, not hot two-penny romance novel junk. Humans AREN’T those characters. I say…make them believable and make them real and you have a novel worth reading.
I’m not saying I’m perfect at any of this. Far from it. Some days, I’m very confused at my own efforts. Those above are things I try to avoid. Usually with much much MUCH re-writing.
October 14, 2010
Nwpa_maleYou should not be hiding from bill collectors and former friends by using the telephone numbers and your mother’s maiden name to harrass and otherwise irritate people. You are hiding from bill collectors by using these diversions. You can no longer hide from people you used throughout your miserable life. The nasty things you have done in your life are catching up to you and are going to be your downfall. You have been discovered and will pay in the long run for your lies and cheating. Be warned, Tir!!
November 23, 2009
Lynda McKennaPet peeve:
Flat, unidentifiable characters. They all look, act, talk the same. Non-descript places, people, actions.
I don’t want to read ‘dull’. If I did, I’d read my cat’s nonsense type when he decides the keyboard is taking too much time away from him.
Overly flowery characters irk me just as much. I want to read ‘real’ people. Not everyone is beautiful, giving, loving, kind, strong, invincible. And not all women are weak, whiney, sick, unloved, abused whatevers. The list goes on and on.
Give me real ‘love scenes’, not hot two-penny romance novel junk. Humans AREN’T those characters. I say…make them believable and make them real and you have a novel worth reading.
I’m not saying I’m perfect at any of this. Far from it. Some days, I’m very confused at my own efforts. Those above are things I try to avoid. Usually with much much MUCH re-writing.
November 23, 2009
DHThanks Lynda,
In Christensen’s “The Great Man” there is a love scene between seniors. It’s very good. I mention it as an example of a love scene showing originality.
My cat also knows how to type.
November 23, 2009
DHThanks Lynda,
In Christensen’s “The Great Man” there is a love scene between seniors. It’s very good. I mention it as an example of a love scene showing originality.
My cat also knows how to type.
November 23, 2009
Cindy AUse spell check. Only an idiot sends material littered with typos that the Word program can correct for you with extremely little effort.
November 23, 2009
Cindy AUse spell check. Only an idiot sends material littered with typos that the Word program can correct for you with extremely little effort.
November 23, 2009
Kim BDon’t rush to your very clever plot point too quickly. Example: Novel about Nashville wives’ club where two members of the club fall for each other (surprise!) and have them fall for each other and leave the group and Nashville by the end of Chapter One before we’ve had the chance to know any of the characters. This from an author who had written three previous books.
November 23, 2009
Kim BDon’t rush to your very clever plot point too quickly. Example: Novel about Nashville wives’ club where two members of the club fall for each other (surprise!) and have them fall for each other and leave the group and Nashville by the end of Chapter One before we’ve had the chance to know any of the characters. This from an author who had written three previous books.
November 24, 2009
PAH!How about:
DON’T LISTEN TO THE FIRST 40 RULES. ONLY A COUPLE OF THEM ARE GOOD!
seriously, those rules suck!
November 24, 2009
PAH!How about:
DON’T LISTEN TO THE FIRST 40 RULES. ONLY A COUPLE OF THEM ARE GOOD!
seriously, those rules suck!
November 24, 2009
DHOkay, PAH!…put your money down…give us a good rule or two! Are you a player or do you just want to critique our game?
November 24, 2009
DHOkay, PAH!…put your money down…give us a good rule or two! Are you a player or do you just want to critique our game?
November 24, 2009
jonathan evison. . . feel free to ignore them . . .
November 24, 2009
jonathan evison. . . feel free to ignore them . . .
November 24, 2009
JasonPlease ignore them.
November 24, 2009
JasonPlease ignore them.
November 24, 2009
Bill Kenower“Don’t write. Tell me a story.” is great. And very true. All the great literary techniques, all the craft, all the tricks which have gained writers so much attention were actually found so the writer could tell the story they most wanted to tell in the way they most wanted to tell it.
November 24, 2009
Bill Kenower“Don’t write. Tell me a story.” is great. And very true. All the great literary techniques, all the craft, all the tricks which have gained writers so much attention were actually found so the writer could tell the story they most wanted to tell in the way they most wanted to tell it.
November 30, 2009
Precise EditDon’t try to be funny. You either are or you aren’t. If you try to be funny, you will fail.
November 29, 2009
Precise EditDon’t try to be funny. You either are or you aren’t. If you try to be funny, you will fail.
November 30, 2009
The Nervous Breakdown[...] had so much fun with the 50 Things Writers Shouldn't Do post (currently up to roughly a gazillion things writer's shouldn't do), that we decided to turn [...]
December 1, 2009
David Alton Dodd1. If your character has to use clichés, make sure you don’t screw them up. There is no such thing as “chomping” at the bit. It’s “champing”. Tom Robbins should know better. At least, Robbins’ editor should know better.
2. When nothing happens on the first five pages except for back-story, I will rarely be able to get to page six before I offer the novel to someone I do not like. Vonnegut could get away with it, but not John Grisham, not me, and probably not you either.
3. “Don’t get cute with your dialogue tags!” he yelled. Yeah, well, the exclamation point already gave me the general idea that someone was yelling, thanks.
4. If you haven’t mastered when to not split infinitives, you should be studying English instead of writing. If you didn’t find that sentence funny, then back away from your keyboard and enroll in an English course at once.
5. I don’t want to hate everyone in your novel unless you are Charles Bukowski. I don’t want to love everyone in your novel unless you are Mark Twain. Presuming that you are nether author, you’re going to have to make me love at least one character and hate at least one character.
November 30, 2009
David Alton Dodd1. If your character has to use clichés, make sure you don’t screw them up. There is no such thing as “chomping” at the bit. It’s “champing”. Tom Robbins should know better. At least, Robbins’ editor should know better.
2. When nothing happens on the first five pages except for back-story, I will rarely be able to get to page six before I offer the novel to someone I do not like. Vonnegut could get away with it, but not John Grisham, not me, and probably not you either.
3. “Don’t get cute with your dialogue tags!” he yelled. Yeah, well, the exclamation point already gave me the general idea that someone was yelling, thanks.
4. If you haven’t mastered when to not split infinitives, you should be studying English instead of writing. If you didn’t find that sentence funny, then back away from your keyboard and enroll in an English course at once.
5. I don’t want to hate everyone in your novel unless you are Charles Bukowski. I don’t want to love everyone in your novel unless you are Mark Twain. Presuming that you are nether author, you’re going to have to make me love at least one character and hate at least one character.
December 1, 2009
Shekhar GhoshDont write a story to – or for – a particular person. You have an axe to grind, write a letter instead. Readers can see through your agenda, if you do.
December 1, 2009
Shekhar GhoshDont write a story to – or for – a particular person. You have an axe to grind, write a letter instead. Readers can see through your agenda, if you do.
December 1, 2009
JessInteresting list and comments.
I think nearly anything can be done well. Execution is one of the more common causes of bad books. So my advice:
1. This is not a race. Take as long as you need and as many drafts and half-drafts and months with your novel in a drawer while you angst – as long as it takes to make it the very best novel you can write. Then, don’t leave it in the drawer.
2. Trust yourself, but more importantly, trust what you have to say. If it’s anything worth writing, it’ll come.
3. I wrote six novels following strict outlining rules, strict word count goals, strict everything. One garnered agent interest, the rest I haven’t bothered revising because they’re already dead.
Anne Lamott says in Bird by Bird (about Perfectionism): “Tidiness suggests something is as good as it’s going to get. Tidiness makes me think of held breath, of suspended animation, while writing needs to breathe and move.”
My first six novels were written tidily. The one short story I wrote – and sold – was written on the fly. I’m not saying outlining and word count goals are bad, only that a writer should be careful not to wall himself or herself up with “craft” and “technique” and kill the story by accident.
4. You can’t fix a blank page. (So oft-quoted I don’t know the original source.)
December 1, 2009
JessInteresting list and comments.
I think nearly anything can be done well. Execution is one of the more common causes of bad books. So my advice:
1. This is not a race. Take as long as you need and as many drafts and half-drafts and months with your novel in a drawer while you angst – as long as it takes to make it the very best novel you can write. Then, don’t leave it in the drawer.
2. Trust yourself, but more importantly, trust what you have to say. If it’s anything worth writing, it’ll come.
3. I wrote six novels following strict outlining rules, strict word count goals, strict everything. One garnered agent interest, the rest I haven’t bothered revising because they’re already dead.
Anne Lamott says in Bird by Bird (about Perfectionism): “Tidiness suggests something is as good as it’s going to get. Tidiness makes me think of held breath, of suspended animation, while writing needs to breathe and move.”
My first six novels were written tidily. The one short story I wrote – and sold – was written on the fly. I’m not saying outlining and word count goals are bad, only that a writer should be careful not to wall himself or herself up with “craft” and “technique” and kill the story by accident.
4. You can’t fix a blank page. (So oft-quoted I don’t know the original source.)
December 1, 2009
Patrick T. KilgallonIf one of your characters got both hands sawed off by a hacksaw, do NOT write: “He wiped off the red streaks with the back of his hand.” like I stupidly did and posted on my website serial novel last week.
December 1, 2009
Patrick T. KilgallonIf one of your characters got both hands sawed off by a hacksaw, do NOT write: “He wiped off the red streaks with the back of his hand.” like I stupidly did and posted on my website serial novel last week.
December 1, 2009
Laure LouiseLove this! Especially the part that tells us to ignore all your rules.
I linked to on my site.
December 1, 2009
Laure LouiseLove this! Especially the part that tells us to ignore all your rules.
I linked to on my site.
December 3, 2009
Twitted by Writepop[...] This post was Twitted by Writepop [...]
December 3, 2009
Gail DaytonI read this and enjoyed it a lot, and kept thinking “I know some things writers should Never Do, but dang, what are they?”
I finally remembered this morning that I have had for years Two Rules Writers Can NEVER Break. You can break all the others, but not these two–and one of them is iffy.
The Iffy one: #2: Do Not Confuse Your Reader.
Sometimes this doesn’t hurt, as long as you don’t do it for too long. But if your reader can’t figure out what’s going on, enough to get totally lost, you’ve lost them.
The #1 Rule that you really, truly cannot break:
DO NOT BORE YOUR READER.
That’s it. If you bore them, they’re gone. So you can’t break this rule, or you won’t have readers any more. You can do a lot of stuff without boring them–some groups of readers have a higher “bored” threshold than others, but really–you just cannot bore them.
All those other rules relate back to these two, IMO. You can break them, any ones you want, but you honestly, really and truly, cannot break these.
And there’s my two cents’ worth.
December 3, 2009
Gail DaytonI read this and enjoyed it a lot, and kept thinking “I know some things writers should Never Do, but dang, what are they?”
I finally remembered this morning that I have had for years Two Rules Writers Can NEVER Break. You can break all the others, but not these two–and one of them is iffy.
The Iffy one: #2: Do Not Confuse Your Reader.
Sometimes this doesn’t hurt, as long as you don’t do it for too long. But if your reader can’t figure out what’s going on, enough to get totally lost, you’ve lost them.
The #1 Rule that you really, truly cannot break:
DO NOT BORE YOUR READER.
That’s it. If you bore them, they’re gone. So you can’t break this rule, or you won’t have readers any more. You can do a lot of stuff without boring them–some groups of readers have a higher “bored” threshold than others, but really–you just cannot bore them.
All those other rules relate back to these two, IMO. You can break them, any ones you want, but you honestly, really and truly, cannot break these.
And there’s my two cents’ worth.
December 8, 2009
Tara GebhardtIs it wrong that I immediately wondered if I could fit all 40 of those things into a short story?
December 8, 2009
Tara GebhardtIs it wrong that I immediately wondered if I could fit all 40 of those things into a short story?
December 8, 2009
jonathan evison. . . if you can do it in 500 words, we’ll run it!
December 8, 2009
jonathan evison. . . if you can do it in 500 words, we’ll run it!
December 9, 2009
DHI agree with that! Good luck, Tara!
February 2, 2012
Generic ViagraGreat things to improve writing lavel
December 8, 2009
DHI agree with that! Good luck, Tara!
December 9, 2009
BookWhirl.comThank you very much for the refresher! I’ll take note about all of these reminders. I enjoyed reading this post.
One way or another, all writers are guilty with a some of the few points mentioned. I’ll share this to others. Thanks!
December 8, 2009
BookWhirl.comThank you very much for the refresher! I’ll take note about all of these reminders. I enjoyed reading this post.
One way or another, all writers are guilty with a some of the few points mentioned. I’ll share this to others. Thanks!
December 9, 2009
Writing rules and the query letter to the agent « Wendy Palmer[...] 9, 2009 by Wendy I infrequently post on writing rules and how too strict an adherence or too literal an interpretation can result in writing that is [...]
December 10, 2009
Tara GebhardtOh man, well I never turn down a challenge! You ready for the worst piece of writing on God’s green Earth? In 500 words.
December 10, 2009
Tara GebhardtOh man, well I never turn down a challenge! You ready for the worst piece of writing on God’s green Earth? In 500 words.
December 10, 2009
JasonTara, bring it.
December 10, 2009
JasonTara, bring it.
December 15, 2009
Semanário 48 « Caneta, Papel e Lápis[...] nota, qui fica um alista das 50 coisas que os escritores não devem fazer, e as 50 coisas que os editores não devem fazer. [...]
December 27, 2009
Tony DuShanedon’t tell everyone you’re writing a novel…your relatives and non-writers friends won’t understand how long it takes from blank page to sitting on a shelf in a bookstore.
i learned from experience.
December 27, 2009
Tony DuShanedon’t tell everyone you’re writing a novel…your relatives and non-writers friends won’t understand how long it takes from blank page to sitting on a shelf in a bookstore.
i learned from experience.
December 31, 2009
Charles Dodd White1. Don’t write several passages with characters speaking in a foreign language without any clues to context unless you’re Cormac McCarthy. Even if you are Cormac McCarthy, don’t do this.
2. Don’t tell your reader that that “it’s not my problem that you can’t understand my work” because it very much is your problem.
3. Avoid semi-colons.
4. Don’t write the word “ample” to describe any part of a woman’s body.
5. Make sure your metaphors are factually correct. i.e. “the deer cut across the field, grass crashing against them like waves against a figurehead” not “the deer cut across the field, grass crashing against them like waves against a masthead” Because them are some mighty big waves.
I’m not making that one up. And it was from a major writer.
December 31, 2009
Charles Dodd White1. Don’t write several passages with characters speaking in a foreign language without any clues to context unless you’re Cormac McCarthy. Even if you are Cormac McCarthy, don’t do this.
2. Don’t tell your reader that that “it’s not my problem that you can’t understand my work” because it very much is your problem.
3. Avoid semi-colons.
4. Don’t write the word “ample” to describe any part of a woman’s body.
5. Make sure your metaphors are factually correct. i.e. “the deer cut across the field, grass crashing against them like waves against a figurehead” not “the deer cut across the field, grass crashing against them like waves against a masthead” Because them are some mighty big waves.
I’m not making that one up. And it was from a major writer.
January 13, 2010
Terry1. Don’t write fantasy or historical fiction in a manner that mimics your everyday speech. Write like what’s spoken in the period written about — otherwise you sound like an American.
2. Don’t avoid semi-colons; learn how to use them — otherwise you sound like an American.
3. Don’t write in a 3rd person limited point of view and then keep the reader inside the protagonist’s head most of the book. This has nothing to do with sounding American.
4. Don’t publish fiction with POD printing. The costs are too high to sell books.
Laugh, yes, but take it to heart.
January 13, 2010
Terry1. Don’t write fantasy or historical fiction in a manner that mimics your everyday speech. Write like what’s spoken in the period written about — otherwise you sound like an American.
2. Don’t avoid semi-colons; learn how to use them — otherwise you sound like an American.
3. Don’t write in a 3rd person limited point of view and then keep the reader inside the protagonist’s head most of the book. This has nothing to do with sounding American.
4. Don’t publish fiction with POD printing. The costs are too high to sell books.
Laugh, yes, but take it to heart.
January 14, 2010
Patrick T. KilgallonTerry, I did break two of your rules. Hope you can forgive me for it. I regret breaking rule number four, but needs to break rule number two because there are some of the things that the protagonist doesn’t want to admit to herself in first person’s narration so I was really stuck with breaking rule number 3. I guess I should add an admendment to the rules:
1. Only break the rules if you HAVE TO. Not because you are in a feisty mood.
January 14, 2010
Patrick T. KilgallonTerry, I did break two of your rules. Hope you can forgive me for it. I regret breaking rule number four, but needs to break rule number two because there are some of the things that the protagonist doesn’t want to admit to herself in first person’s narration so I was really stuck with breaking rule number 3. I guess I should add an admendment to the rules:
1. Only break the rules if you HAVE TO. Not because you are in a feisty mood.
January 16, 2010
Cory StephensDon’t publish two pages of conjoined ellipses, Jonathan Safran Foer.
Wow, that came out rather specific, huh?
January 16, 2010
Cory StephensDon’t publish two pages of conjoined ellipses, Jonathan Safran Foer.
Wow, that came out rather specific, huh?
January 16, 2010
AprilIf your main character is an English professor who constantly complains about all his students’ spelling mistakes, maybe make sure your own writing is impeccable. I’m looking at you, P.F. Kluge (Gone Tomorrow).
But, for my biggest pet peeve: DON’T use dreams as a way to further the plot. If you can’t reach Plot Point B from Plot Point A on your own, then that’s your failure. Don’t make your character dream the answer, then wake up and magically know that so-and-so is the killer or know what the next step in her life’s journey should be. Lame!
January 16, 2010
AprilIf your main character is an English professor who constantly complains about all his students’ spelling mistakes, maybe make sure your own writing is impeccable. I’m looking at you, P.F. Kluge (Gone Tomorrow).
But, for my biggest pet peeve: DON’T use dreams as a way to further the plot. If you can’t reach Plot Point B from Plot Point A on your own, then that’s your failure. Don’t make your character dream the answer, then wake up and magically know that so-and-so is the killer or know what the next step in her life’s journey should be. Lame!
January 16, 2010
DHI want to answer Cory and April. I use ellipses…too much. Someday I’m going to get punched out over this. I just wrote interview questions that has them crawling all over the page like ants. I am guilty…
As for April’s comments about dreams and storytelling, this is a fasinating question. Maybe stories began when some cave dweller wanted to tell the tribe about their dreams. The best dreamer got to be the tribe’s writer and must have won the first Pulitzer, which was probably an interestingly shaped rock.
I greatly admire a good dream sequence in a story. But April is right. This practice is often abused. The most orthodox realists, I think, would never put a dream in a story…even just to relate one…because dreams aren’t “real”…yes…I am trying to use as many ellipses as possible. It’s an obsession.
January 16, 2010
DHI want to answer Cory and April. I use ellipses…too much. Someday I’m going to get punched out over this. I just wrote interview questions that has them crawling all over the page like ants. I am guilty…
As for April’s comments about dreams and storytelling, this is a fasinating question. Maybe stories began when some cave dweller wanted to tell the tribe about their dreams. The best dreamer got to be the tribe’s writer and must have won the first Pulitzer, which was probably an interestingly shaped rock.
I greatly admire a good dream sequence in a story. But April is right. This practice is often abused. The most orthodox realists, I think, would never put a dream in a story…even just to relate one…because dreams aren’t “real”…yes…I am trying to use as many ellipses as possible. It’s an obsession.
January 16, 2010
DHI know I misspelled a word…sorry.
January 16, 2010
DHI know I misspelled a word…sorry.
January 17, 2010
V.L. Fuller1) I think it was Mark Twain who said “If you see an adverb, kill it.” Or maybe it was if you see an adjective kill it. And maybe it was John Wayne who said it. I forget. Whatever, it’s good advice.
2) Never take advice. Ever.
3) I like semi-colons, but I also like saffron. I use each sparingly. They are expensive.
4) I hate the way so much modern fiction feels the need to remind the reader of something that happened three pages ago. Why do I need a reminder of something that JUST HAPPENED? Am I stupid? Did you think I wasn’t paying attention? Or why do I need a reminder of something that happened twenty-five pages, or three hundred pages ago? Wasn’t that part of your cunning writerly plan, to foreshadow the event I am now reading about? Or are you just so overwhelmed with your own cleverness you have to tell me about how clever you are? Or are you insecure about whether I will notice your cleverness? Or…
5)… is it simply a matter of so much modern fiction being written by committee now? Which, incidentally, per “Never Take Advice” above, you should never do? Is that punctuation correct? Did I spell committee correctly?
6) Don’t second guess yourself in the middle of writing. Plunge ahead. Or is it lunge ahead? Argh. Just do it, fix it later.
7) If you have a cause you can champion in a novel, go for it. Just don’t seem like you’re championing a cause in a novel, or if you can’t help but tip your hand, make the cause somehow relevant to the novel itself. But why restrict yourself? If something is important to you write about it. There’s usually a story to go with what you are trying to say. Some of the best books (and movies) have a cause.
8) For heaven’s sake, don’t “write what you know”. Most of us are pretty boring. I know I am.
9) If you write about a historical era other than the one you live in, trying to replicate the dialect of the time is absurd. Don’t do it.
10) If you want the best education in slang and actual speech patterns from any era, read the pornography of the era. Porn was not paid for by the word as a rule, porn was not edited to death (still isn’t), and good porn attempts to convey things with the LEAST amount of delicacy. My personal favorite Victorian era piece of porn? “The Autobiography of a Flea”. It’s as educational as “Oliver Twist”. I swear.
11) Oh, yeah, and if an infinitive needs to be split? Do it like Raymond Chandler did, and split the damn thing so it STAYS split. I like my infinitives split, and with a dollop of butter and honey. But then, I’m an American.
January 16, 2010
V.L. Fuller1) I think it was Mark Twain who said “If you see an adverb, kill it.” Or maybe it was if you see an adjective kill it. And maybe it was John Wayne who said it. I forget. Whatever, it’s good advice.
2) Never take advice. Ever.
3) I like semi-colons, but I also like saffron. I use each sparingly. They are expensive.
4) I hate the way so much modern fiction feels the need to remind the reader of something that happened three pages ago. Why do I need a reminder of something that JUST HAPPENED? Am I stupid? Did you think I wasn’t paying attention? Or why do I need a reminder of something that happened twenty-five pages, or three hundred pages ago? Wasn’t that part of your cunning writerly plan, to foreshadow the event I am now reading about? Or are you just so overwhelmed with your own cleverness you have to tell me about how clever you are? Or are you insecure about whether I will notice your cleverness? Or…
5)… is it simply a matter of so much modern fiction being written by committee now? Which, incidentally, per “Never Take Advice” above, you should never do? Is that punctuation correct? Did I spell committee correctly?
6) Don’t second guess yourself in the middle of writing. Plunge ahead. Or is it lunge ahead? Argh. Just do it, fix it later.
7) If you have a cause you can champion in a novel, go for it. Just don’t seem like you’re championing a cause in a novel, or if you can’t help but tip your hand, make the cause somehow relevant to the novel itself. But why restrict yourself? If something is important to you write about it. There’s usually a story to go with what you are trying to say. Some of the best books (and movies) have a cause.
8) For heaven’s sake, don’t “write what you know”. Most of us are pretty boring. I know I am.
9) If you write about a historical era other than the one you live in, trying to replicate the dialect of the time is absurd. Don’t do it.
10) If you want the best education in slang and actual speech patterns from any era, read the pornography of the era. Porn was not paid for by the word as a rule, porn was not edited to death (still isn’t), and good porn attempts to convey things with the LEAST amount of delicacy. My personal favorite Victorian era piece of porn? “The Autobiography of a Flea”. It’s as educational as “Oliver Twist”. I swear.
11) Oh, yeah, and if an infinitive needs to be split? Do it like Raymond Chandler did, and split the damn thing so it STAYS split. I like my infinitives split, and with a dollop of butter and honey. But then, I’m an American.
January 17, 2010
Jason ChambersThanks, VL.
I say if you must “write what you know”, you’d better lie about it.
January 16, 2010
Jason ChambersThanks, VL.
I say if you must “write what you know”, you’d better lie about it.
January 17, 2010
Susan WoodringLove this. My favorite: Don’t include scenes just because they’re good scenes. I’d add: Don’t linger in a scene just because you, the writer, are having fun writing it. I think sometimes we love our words too much. We must learn to kill our darlings–our most breathtakingly beautiful sentences, our poetic descriptions, our brilliant quips and musings–when they’re not advancing the plot.
I’m with you on the agenda-fiction, too. Even if I agree with all my heart about whatever kind of message the writer is trying to send, I bristle when I know the writer is trying to teach me something.
January 17, 2010
Susan WoodringLove this. My favorite: Don’t include scenes just because they’re good scenes. I’d add: Don’t linger in a scene just because you, the writer, are having fun writing it. I think sometimes we love our words too much. We must learn to kill our darlings–our most breathtakingly beautiful sentences, our poetic descriptions, our brilliant quips and musings–when they’re not advancing the plot.
I’m with you on the agenda-fiction, too. Even if I agree with all my heart about whatever kind of message the writer is trying to send, I bristle when I know the writer is trying to teach me something.
January 17, 2010
jonathan evison. . . here, here, susan! . . . i love steinbeck, but man, when i read something like “the moon is down” i cringe at the political propaganda . . .and then there are those who would argue that every novel has an imperative to be political . . .to my way of thinking, the only real imperative for a novel is to report on the human condition . . .
January 17, 2010
jonathan evison. . . here, here, susan! . . . i love steinbeck, but man, when i read something like “the moon is down” i cringe at the political propaganda . . .and then there are those who would argue that every novel has an imperative to be political . . .to my way of thinking, the only real imperative for a novel is to report on the human condition . . .
January 17, 2010
RAUL OSCARThanks for this piece of advice. Regards from Argentina.
January 17, 2010
RAUL OSCARThanks for this piece of advice. Regards from Argentina.
February 4, 2010
Zev LewinsonStop talking about writing. Just get on the mat … and write! (although I honestly admit that I loved number five in everyone’s critique. But my favorite … (drum roll here) … You’re the artist. Ignore my rules.
February 3, 2010
Zev LewinsonStop talking about writing. Just get on the mat … and write! (although I honestly admit that I loved number five in everyone’s critique. But my favorite … (drum roll here) … You’re the artist. Ignore my rules.
March 29, 2010
Marie Raven“Dont write a story to – or for – a particular person. You have an axe to grind, write a letter instead. Readers can see through your agenda, if you do.”
To me, this goes for writing something to, or for, yourself. Including details of personal experience enrich a story and offer believability. However, 99% of people are not so interesting that I want to read a novel about them and their lives, and if I haven’t seen through the fact that all you’ve done is created a slightly-more-appealing version of yourself in a very-similar-to-your-own-life situation (no, including a token vice does not make this any less eye-roll inducing), then by the time I read a second piece of your work I will. And I will not read any more. Write a diary, not a memoir.
March 29, 2010
Marie Raven“Dont write a story to – or for – a particular person. You have an axe to grind, write a letter instead. Readers can see through your agenda, if you do.”
To me, this goes for writing something to, or for, yourself. Including details of personal experience enrich a story and offer believability. However, 99% of people are not so interesting that I want to read a novel about them and their lives, and if I haven’t seen through the fact that all you’ve done is created a slightly-more-appealing version of yourself in a very-similar-to-your-own-life situation (no, including a token vice does not make this any less eye-roll inducing), then by the time I read a second piece of your work I will. And I will not read any more. Write a diary, not a memoir.
April 11, 2010
John TagliaferroLots of good advice!
Some of mine:
I don’t like my characters speaking in semi-colons, so I use a period.
If you are not intimately familiar with a topic, research it.
Let the characters explain to each other how things work.
Sprinkle hints through the story, but don’t have all of them pointing at your ending.
Romances are no more than 40,000 words. A series can be infinite in 40,000 word chunks. Even sci-fi with a romance in it.
Writing 20 years in the future let’s you make anything we have today work better and locations can be remodeled to your likeing. One-hundred years in the future, you can do almost anything you want besides human nature.
If you write about a utopia, don’t pretend it can happen.
Human beings have flaws, your characters need them and the reader needs to know what they are.
Proofers and editors do not write for you. Dig out what they really don’t like and explain or fix it (Suki is always behind on her bills because of her lavish lifestyle, mentioned by her mother near the end of vol. 1, rememtion or not?)
I prefer an all-knowing narrator, when the narrator pipes up. Mentioned earlier, I usually have the characters explain things, sometimes in thought.
April 11, 2010
John TagliaferroLots of good advice!
Some of mine:
I don’t like my characters speaking in semi-colons, so I use a period.
If you are not intimately familiar with a topic, research it.
Let the characters explain to each other how things work.
Sprinkle hints through the story, but don’t have all of them pointing at your ending.
Romances are no more than 40,000 words. A series can be infinite in 40,000 word chunks. Even sci-fi with a romance in it.
Writing 20 years in the future let’s you make anything we have today work better and locations can be remodeled to your likeing. One-hundred years in the future, you can do almost anything you want besides human nature.
If you write about a utopia, don’t pretend it can happen.
Human beings have flaws, your characters need them and the reader needs to know what they are.
Proofers and editors do not write for you. Dig out what they really don’t like and explain or fix it (Suki is always behind on her bills because of her lavish lifestyle, mentioned by her mother near the end of vol. 1, rememtion or not?)
I prefer an all-knowing narrator, when the narrator pipes up. Mentioned earlier, I usually have the characters explain things, sometimes in thought.
May 31, 2010
Writing posts and comments « I have a theory about that…[...] does, and at first, it makes sense to teach it this way. Like writer Anne Lamott says, first learn the rules, then learn how to break them. For example, lots of mature writing, particularly creative prose [...]
June 1, 2010
NikLOL Jeff! I not only read Peanuts, but I have an edition of Bulwer’s “complete works” including Paul Clifford
I personally ADORE ostentatious, bloated verbosity (to my way of thinking, it sorta defines the whole Victorian era, including the famous ones like Dickens and the non-so-famous ones like Bulwer). I do read Berkeley’s annual “Bulwer Lytton Contest” entries, and I too started a novel with homage to the “dark and stormy night.” In my opinion, it’s actually a great sentence, but it’s a horrible novel. LOL
I suppose if I were to offer rules, they’d have to include the whole thing about “rules are meant to be broken,” especially regarding grammar and sentence structure. Two things I remember which actually have been useful to me, but which are also places where I’ve occasionally transgressed (for good reason, of course), have to do with transcribing human utterings (like writing “uh…” and “eww!”) and describing the activity of internal organs (like hearts pounding and stomachs turning and so forth)… generally these are, as William Strunk might say, “off-putting.”
May 31, 2010
NikLOL Jeff! I not only read Peanuts, but I have an edition of Bulwer’s “complete works” including Paul Clifford
I personally ADORE ostentatious, bloated verbosity (to my way of thinking, it sorta defines the whole Victorian era, including the famous ones like Dickens and the non-so-famous ones like Bulwer). I do read Berkeley’s annual “Bulwer Lytton Contest” entries, and I too started a novel with homage to the “dark and stormy night.” In my opinion, it’s actually a great sentence, but it’s a horrible novel. LOL
I suppose if I were to offer rules, they’d have to include the whole thing about “rules are meant to be broken,” especially regarding grammar and sentence structure. Two things I remember which actually have been useful to me, but which are also places where I’ve occasionally transgressed (for good reason, of course), have to do with transcribing human utterings (like writing “uh…” and “eww!”) and describing the activity of internal organs (like hearts pounding and stomachs turning and so forth)… generally these are, as William Strunk might say, “off-putting.”
June 1, 2010
NikOh, absolutely Josie! “show, don’t tell” is probably the most important advice ever for writers, from beginners to pros. Kafka, I think, said it best when he said, “don’t tell me the moon is shining. Show me the glint of light on broken glass.” Or something like that.
May 31, 2010
NikOh, absolutely Josie! “show, don’t tell” is probably the most important advice ever for writers, from beginners to pros. Kafka, I think, said it best when he said, “don’t tell me the moon is shining. Show me the glint of light on broken glass.” Or something like that.
June 7, 2010
ZoëActually, there’s only one thing a writer shouldn’t do – and that is a writer should never listen to someone who is telling them what they shouldn’t do. Writing is about being creative and rules are a stint in creativity, anyone telling you what you should or shouldn’t do is just being pretetious and telling you that the way /they/ do it is right and better. Screw rules. Write what you feel and what comes out of you. That’s all you need to know.
June 7, 2010
ZoëActually, there’s only one thing a writer shouldn’t do – and that is a writer should never listen to someone who is telling them what they shouldn’t do. Writing is about being creative and rules are a stint in creativity, anyone telling you what you should or shouldn’t do is just being pretetious and telling you that the way /they/ do it is right and better. Screw rules. Write what you feel and what comes out of you. That’s all you need to know.
July 7, 2010
Christina A. Nelson » Post Topic » April LOLs Day (& some writer link spam)[...] 50 Things A Writer Shouldn’t Do – from ThreeGuysOneBook [...]
July 23, 2010
Christina A. Nelson {Author} » Post Topic » April LOLs Day (& some writer link spam)[...] 50 Things A Writer Shouldn’t Do – from ThreeGuysOneBook [...]
August 10, 2010
Home DehumidifiersA+ Zoë. I completely agree. Lists are popular so this will definitely make the rounds, but I hope no one takes it seriously. There shouldn’t be any hard rules for a creative work.
August 10, 2010
Home DehumidifiersA+ Zoë. I completely agree. Lists are popular so this will definitely make the rounds, but I hope no one takes it seriously. There shouldn’t be any hard rules for a creative work.
August 17, 2010
susan holadayLove your “Don’t write, tell me a story”- it pinpoints my biggest gripe with fiction in the past 10 or 15 years – not that I get to read much – I have books piled up, avalanching -but they’re cooking or cookbooks for review in my publication, Foodservice East! But when I want to read fiction, I want to be drawn into a wonderful story and taken out of the ‘real’ world, or told a story that informs, educates, entertains, inspires!
August 17, 2010
susan holadayLove your “Don’t write, tell me a story”- it pinpoints my biggest gripe with fiction in the past 10 or 15 years – not that I get to read much – I have books piled up, avalanching -but they’re cooking or cookbooks for review in my publication, Foodservice East! But when I want to read fiction, I want to be drawn into a wonderful story and taken out of the ‘real’ world, or told a story that informs, educates, entertains, inspires!
September 7, 2010
AReaderPlease add this one: Don’t kill the main character’s love interest just to try to turn your lame story into a tearjerker (Nicholas Sparks). I hate being manipulated that way.
September 7, 2010
AReaderPlease add this one: Don’t kill the main character’s love interest just to try to turn your lame story into a tearjerker (Nicholas Sparks). I hate being manipulated that way.
September 7, 2010
jonathan evison. . .consider it added!
September 7, 2010
jonathan evison. . .consider it added!
October 3, 2010
NaNoWriMo 2010 Survival Guide | Starling Cinema Presents[...] Creepy Wikipedia Pages Possibly NSFW Write or Die TV Tropes Photographic Height/Weight Chart 50 Things a Writer Shouldn’t Do (NOTE: In my opinion, this is only beneficial for editing your story after NaNo has officially [...]
October 9, 2010
dandellionDon’t start your story with a character alone in a room unless you’re Kafka and your character is going to turn into a bug.
LOL
errrrrmmmm… I’ll have to find my way around this one.
October 9, 2010
Jason ChambersThat’s OK dandellion, there’s always the praying mantis route for you.
October 9, 2010
Raven Jennifer DemersDon’t tell me about the weather in the first page of the story. Oh sure, it may be a dark and stormy night, it might even be raining. Show me the umbrella, or the character wishing for one. If the weather means nothing to the story, it doesn’t need to be shown.
October 9, 2010
ColinIf you’re making rules, avoid sounding like JR.
October 9, 2010
Link Love « Locked Out[...] ? 50 Things A Writer Shouldn’t Do. 1. Don’t write. Tell me a story. [...]
October 9, 2010
Dennis HaritouIn your dreams, Colin, you should sound like JR.
But on RJD’s weather comment: one thing I do like about weather descriptions is that they work very well in historical novels. You can describe the rain in Paris on June 14th, 1850 and hell, its the same rain, but to your readers, it’s 19th century rain and you will be commended for your realism.
But I agree, no irrelevant descriptions. Descriptive writing has to have a function in your storytelling.
October 23, 2010
SteveWhat is the definition for, “distrupt?”
December 23, 2010
Cindy20070103I like what you say.http://www.amerisleep.com
February 8, 2011
TahliaDon’t try to please all of the readers all of the time. It’s impossible and you’ll go crazy trying.
Look at this list, for eg what you might think is an agenda or an example of too much description or not enough happening isn’t to someone else.
The truth is, you can only please some readers some of the time, but an artist must please themselves.
February 13, 2011
Book Marketing Buzz » Blog Archive » Book Marketing Buzz’s Sunday Tweet Roundup 2/13/11: Facebook Fan Pages, Social Media, & Self-Publishing[...] http://threeguysonebook.com/50-things-a-writer-shouldnt-do [...]
April 18, 2011
David MankinsOne writer doesn’t need to tell another writer anything! Writing is about talent. Creativity is discovered early on in school. Take talent, add creativity and there is a writer born.
April 19, 2011
AnonymousWrite out loud (read out loud what you wrote).
Very interesting post. Thank you
April 23, 2011
Tweetly News with the Mad Hatter | A Writer In Wonderland[...] http://bit.ly/7RBINb – 50 Things a Writer Shouldn’t Do via @AdvicetoWriters [...]
April 24, 2011
Alone by Yiyun Li « Three Guys One Book[...] Pulitzer Prize Winners AnnouncedThe Rape of the BookNotable New Releases 4/19/2011Top Posts50 Things a Writer Shouldn't Do (199)Surviving the Odds as A Debut Novelist (82)When We Fell In Love – Greg Olear (80)Can Writing Be [...]
May 4, 2011
NightsforgotenchildDon’t edit…..leave your writing at it is until you are finished. you will get lost in what you did wrong.
May 21, 2011
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May 31, 2011
Chickandcheap OnlineshopWow. These are all true. I am a writer myself, been writing fiction for six years now and I couldn’t agree more with you. Let me bookmark this page for future use. Thanks. Jogo de moto
June 22, 2011
Dan Fucking DoncheAwesome list here. I would like to point out that lists like this — rules, guidelines, etc. — go a long way to help people like me write better. You know, concisely. While I agree with the “there are no rules” rule, I would caution against disregarding it without understanding why people recommended it in the first place. Seriously. Consider each rule, ask yourself why it might be there. It serves to help you be honest with yourself. When I first started out, I broke rules on purpose because I wanted to be belligerent. Then I realized my writing was a lot better when I could look at it more objectively. And I just want to close this comment by saying it will probably carry a lot more weight in a few years after I’m famous. I must go write now…
June 28, 2011
Brian recliner chairsi like the list
June 28, 2011
Brian recliner chairsi like the list
July 23, 2011
Jeffe Kennedy[...] I’ve been noticing writers criticizing other writers in mean ways. Or making lists of things they think writers shouldn’t do. [...]
September 18, 2011
SheanThis reminders would really help a lot of writers most likely students who started to do writing on their own.
Fun
October 26, 2011
Nikki the writer#51 (#41?) You shouldn’t write a list claiming that there are 50 things in it when there are only 40. It sort of ruins your credibility.
January 2, 2012
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January 15, 2012
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February 1, 2012
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February 19, 2012
FaxesIf there are 50 don’ts, will they put a some in to writer’s block?
February 28, 2012
50 Things a Writer Shouldn’t Do « Jade Alyse Writes[...] 50 Things a Writer Shouldn’t Do [...]
February 28, 2012
Anne LessingI like the “topicality is another word for bullshit” tip–it’s so true. Writers shouldn’t choose what to write just because it’s popular or sells well. But on the other hand, if a writer is genuinely interested in something that’s seemingly been done to death (like teenage vampires), then they should write it. But make it new and subvert the pattern.
February 28, 2012
Sdaedalus 12“Don´t use italics for more than one line” Even Hemingway, which seems to be the one to imitate if i understand the spirit of the first decalog, uses italics (abundantly) to indicate flash-back or stream of consciousness. If what you are trying to say is “tell me a story, use just simple narrative devices, don’t try anything that will puzzle me, write like you talk, etc.”, you should maybe try to avoid words as narrative medium and start with movie scripts. They need that.
February 28, 2012
JumpinjahosephNever write lists of do’s and don’ts
Don’t name drop famous authors or works unless its a direct relevant quote. I don’t give a fuck about John Irving and never will. It makes you sound like a pretentious douche.
February 28, 2012
Anthony MartinWhat about a short story as a metaphor, where the metaphor isn’t necessarily explicit. Avoid this? Is this common among short stories?
February 29, 2012
Tips/Advice | Pearltrees[...] Don’t ask for advice or criticism if what you want is a pat on the back. 50 Things a Writer Shouldn't Do & Three Guys One Book – StumbleUpon [...]
February 29, 2012
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March 20, 2012
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May 3, 2012
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March 31, 2012
The Clandestine SamuraiHmmm……have to disagree with the one about not writing with an agenda. Some of the best novels (and graphic novels) have come out of an agenda.
April 12, 2012
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July 26, 2012
ThaddawHaha! Know the rules before breaking them. Whose rules are you talking about? Your rules? Your editors rules? I understand that this is supposed to be helpful but most of these statements are pretty freaking stock or otherwise taste based opinions. Don’t write this way; don’t write that way; write how I would write; write what I want to read. The only way to improve one’s writing is to write write write and read read read. This kind of list amounts to little more than recycled static in writers’ airspace. I’m glad you found success, but that really doesn’t qualify you to give advice to other writers. Who cares what you want? You and your editor are not the universal readers.
February 18, 2013
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March 15, 2013
Day_is_OverIf you’re writing something “new adult.” Just throw it away and consider killing yourself.
March 15, 2013
GuestIf you’re writing something “new adult.” Just throw it away and consider killing yourself.
March 15, 2013
Day_is_OverIf you’re writing something “new adult.” Just throw it away and consider killing yourself….
March 15, 2013
Day_is_OverHere’s a rule: Its okay to write HAPPY CHARACTERS who smile. Believe it or not. Why is it that women write the worst female characters? Damaged, dumb, and all helpless when a hot dick comes around.
March 15, 2013
Jolie du Pre“You’re the artist. Ignore my rules.” – I don’t think your rules should be “ignored,” but I think every author should read your rules – take what they can use – ignore the rest.
March 15, 2013
YuriDon’t. Too much rule. Just Write!
March 15, 2013
Tips for writersDad With a Pen[...] Here’s the article I read online that inspired my blog post: 50 Things a Writer Shouldn’t Do [...]
March 21, 2013
Top Picks Thursday 03-21-2013 | The Author Chronicles[...] A.S. King tells writers to write what they love and forget about what others tell them they should or shouldn’t write. Three Guys One Book goes even farther, with 50 things a writer shouldn’t do. [...]