I fell in love with reading in my teen years. I was a lonely teenager my books were my amazing companions. I was trying to find some answers to my desires and I was confused. There were glimpses of shame and guilt due to these desires. I was also searching for love.
I read Corin Tellado’s romantic novels. She is a very well-known Spanish novelist. The love scenes were vivid with the most lovely people, beautiful women and handsome men. There was a karmic connection between souls that are fated to meet and collide and enrapture one another. It ended with passionate kisses, finding prince charming and living happily after.
I fell in love with places like big wild cities, Paris, Madrid, Rome, London and the complexities and intensity of relationships in each of these stories. Because of this, I began writing love novels when I was in High School that my peers loved to read. And for me it was exciting creating love stories with extravagant complex dramas, because in my world this is what love stories really were.
When I turned eighteen I fell in love, and my heart was broken, leaving me in a very vulnerable state. I became interested in reading psychology. I wanted to find out about human behavior. In these books I was looking for answers regarding my sexuality. Why was I attracted physically to men and emotionally to women?
I wanted to discover the reasons Freud gave for being aroused so easily, sometimes against my will. Why was I panting over some young man I barely knew? Why do I behave that way? I searched through my books but found no explanation. However, I continued reading and searching for answers.
My initial struggle to be myself and be with whomever I wanted, male or female, and the influences and social pressure that prevented me from being myself until middle age. Books have shown me things I didn’t know about myself. Reading can be therapeutic, it relaxes, reduce stress and anxiety and gives new perspectives and insight. I was able to conceive other possibilities and a life beyond my own insular one. Being a bookworm has boosted my mind and well-being.
I love reading because it has helped me in nearly every aspect of my life. Reading has made me sharper as I age. It has improved my knowledge, and knowledge is power. Reading increases my vocabulary. With English being my second language, the more I read, the better writer I become. Books have the power to influence people and my goal for my book was to influence people to be exactly who they are regardless of what society may think.
